Anyone out there?

So at first Liam was such an easy baby, and still is for the most part. Yet the last few days he's turned our world upside down...between eating more, screaming more, not happy unless he's held (which I can't always do) it's been a real nail biter these last few days. My prayers often start with "Dear Heavenly Father, I'm sorry I'm praying (while on the toilet/while doing dishes/while doing laundry) ag...ain, but it's my only time to think! And here's what I've been thinking...I don't think I'm as good at this as other moms I know..." We're all trying our best to adapt, using humor all along the way. My favorite quote from today? At one point this evening, after the baby was changed, fed, rocked, kissed, etc. Sean turns to me and says "Just growl at him-establish your dominance." I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. That's why I married him :) I suppose I'm sharing this all because I'm clinging to the belief that I'm not the only one whose swallowed up and lost in the middle of this new baby/sassy independent toddler/barely keeping up with housework (let alone my sanity) stage of life. So I just want to take a quick moment to say "Hello world. Is there anyone else out there?"

He's here!

He's here!!! We had our little baby, and he's perfect. Liam Addington Martindale was born February 21st, and it's been a whirlwind of craziness since then. We've had feeding issues from the beginning, so that's why facebook hasn't even been on my radar since little man got here. He was 8 lbs 12 oz at birth, and dropped down to 7 lbs 11 oz within a few days. We've been going back to the hospital for almost daily weight checks between discharge and this last wednesday. (You know you're spending too much time at the hospital when your toddler calls from the backseat "We're home!!!" as you're pulling into the hospital parking lot yet another day in a row...) Anyway, Liam's doing better now, and growing each day. He's beautiful, sweet, calm, and the sweetest little angel...Sis loves him to death, and can't stop smothering him with kisses. We've got plenty of pictures, and I'll post a couple when I have a chance.

Idaho Trip-Part 2: Yellowstone (Day 1)

So after the reunion on friday, we drove to Burley, where Sean's parents live. We got in late, and had to leave early the next morning, to head to Yellowstone. On the trip up, we weren't an hour into the drive, and I started to have severe pelvic pain, and I got hot, dizzy, and naseous. I was also scared, and we didn't know what was going on. The pelvic pain was so bad, that I couldn't sit still in the car. Sean pulled over at the next rest stop, and wanted me to walk with him for a bit. I could barely move, but he managed to get me to a secluded area, and gave me a blessing. Sean's dad was waiting in the car with Tara, while we did this. Sean had a feeling that everything was okay, and that it was partially a blood sugar thing. Especially when I was visibly shaking. I got to a point where it was all too much...the nausea, the pelvic pain, the dizziness-the constant feeling that I was going to pass out. I remember standing in the building at the rest stop, thinking that I did not want to be conscious for even one more second: I felt I just couldn't handle it anymore. Sean was smart enough to force me to eat a few grapes that we had in the car, and between that, and the air conditioner blasting, I began to feel better as we drove on. However-although the sypmtoms had subsided for the most part, I still had some pelvic pressure that didn't feel right, and it lasted the rest of the day. Even once we arrived at our lodge at Yellowstone, and after an afternoon of seeing certain parts of Montana, and some beautiful sights-I didn't feel quite right. So later that evening, after trying to rest for a bit; Sean asked me to call my doctor, just to see what the source of it all was. I spoke to the doctor filling in for mine, and after describing everything that had happened that day, and answering a bunch of her questions, she said I need to get to the nearest ER, and quickly. She was concerned about it being an ectopic pregnancy, and didn't want to chance it. I tried to stay calm, and asked her what the odds are it was something else. She said with what I described, and the fact that I was only 6 weeks pregnant-the odds were high enough, and she didn't want to risk it. So after I hung up with the doctor, I fell apart. I managed to explain to Sean what she had said, and he and my mother in law rushed me to Madison Memorial Hospital in Rexburg. It was the closest hospital, and took just over half an hour to get to. After a long wait, the ER doctor who was also an OB/GYN came in. He explained that they couldn't do any testing, because I wasn't far enough along; and that we pretty much had to wait it out. He said that if I miscarry, it wouldn't be through any fault of my own. He said that all we could do was wait. One comforting thing he said though is that he didn't think it was an ectopic, because of the location of the pain. The baby had just implanted low, and he said that with an ectopic, I'd feel sharp pain on the left or right side, or both. After explaining some more things in detail, he wrote a doctors note to take it easy, and rest often. So we headed back to the lodge, and went to bed.

The next day, we saw plenty of beautiful sights, and so many amazing things at Yellowstone. We didn't see as many animals as we thought, because it was the 4th of July weekend, and it was overcrowded with people. But we had fun, and got to see Old Faithful, and awesome things like that.









This photo was hanging on the wall in the front of the lodge, as you walk in. I thought it was so fascinating, having a piece of history on the wall.











Tara dancing on the windowsill in our room at the lodge!









The water is SO CLEAR!!!

















Eating ice cream in Montana....







I thought this t-shirt was hilarious, until a few days after we left; some guy was killed by a bear outside Canyon Village. Now I think it's in poor taste...








This is what we found in our bed at the end of the day-so darling...

Chasing Mommy

So Sean and I have been playing this game with Tara for these last few months where we start growling and chasing after her. She absolutely LOVES this game! She'll come up to us if we're busy doing something, and place her hands on our legs and make a growling sound and then run away. So we'll start growling, and then drop to our hands and knees, and begin chasing her around the room; and eventually into a corner where she'll start giggling so hard she's holding her stomach :) Today for the first time though, once I cornered her; she started coming after me! She growled her tiny little baby growl, and started toddling after me...so I ran to a corner, and acted scared. Once she got to me, I acted terrified that she was going to "eat" me. She just stood there, and started laughing uncontrollably. Then she got so proud of herself for scaring mommy back that she actually jumped up and down, and shivered with delight! She was SO happy...I love that girl!

Is it ever going to end...?

So I mentioned the other day that Tara has now learned how to open doors, including the refrigerator door. I went into the kitchen a couple days ago, and this is what I found...












She made an utter mess in there, and enjoyed every minute of it :)




*sigh*

"When one door closes, another one opens..."

And it hasn't stopped! That is the motto for our household right now :) Yesterday Tara learned how to open the door for the first time. Yay. So mommy had a very difficult day in keeping Tara out of things she shouldn't be into. This includes the refrigerator door. Fun stuff people...She's so proud of herself too! She walks away with this smug look on her face like "I just did something HUGE...didn't I?" It's funny, but frustrating. The biggest frustration was her opening the fridge door constantly while she was in the kitchen "helping" mommy make banana bread. I've seen people who have those huge honkin locks and bolts for their refrigerators, but that seems a little ridiculous to me. There's got to be another way...To all the mommies out there-any suggestions?

Her smile...

I want to tell the story of Tara's smile. When I was pregnant with her, I went in for an ultrasound somewhere around 7(ish) months. The ultrasound tech was moving the device around, when we heard her gasp and then say "aww...". She pointed to the screen, and there was Tara; with a gigantic smile on her face. She said "She knows her mommy's voice!" It melted my heart, and made me fall in love with her even more! The tech said that she'd never seen such a happy fetus, and it blew her mind that a child could be that happy even before being born. She wanted to test her theory that Tara smiled every time she heard my voice; so she asked me to talk to Tara. When I was silent, she would just roll around and do her own thing. But every time I spoke, whether to her, or someone else in the room; this beautiful smile would come across her face. It was a big ear to ear grin, and it made me cry every time. When the ultrasound was over, I was led to the exam room to wait for my OB. She came in, and immediately said "You have one happy little girl!" It made me so proud, knowing that Tara was happy in there. She was already bringing so much joy to the world, just by a simple yet extraordinary smile. Each ultrasound throughout the rest of the pregnancy, the same thing occured. Giant smiles the whole way through. It made it all that much harder to wait until the birth, we wanted to meet her SO bad!


When Tara was born, that first time she fell asleep in my arms; we saw that gorgeous smile that had entered our dreams; and filled every waking moment with anticipation of meeting this amazing little girl. It surpassed everything we thought it would be in person, and made our hearts knit together in love for this little angel. During the first months she was with us, her daddy and I spent so much time just watching her sleep. Our hearts would burn with love for her, and we would wonder how we got so lucky. This went on for months, watching her smile in her sleep. When she was awake, and would give us that enrapturing grin; her eyes would sparkle with joy. We hoped it would never end...

This last April, we were finally able to move our little family into a two bedroom apartment (YAY!!!). Tara was nine months old, and finally had her own room. Watching our little one sleep became more rare. Around her first birthday, I happened to pass by her bedroom one afternoon while she was napping. I noticed I had left the door open a crack, so I snuck in and watched her for a moment. My heart almost exploded when I realized that she still smiles in her sleep the SAME way she did when she was a newborn! The tender mercies of the Lord...

This morning, about an hour ago; I laid her down for her first nap of the day. As I was rocking her, I realized it was no ordinary thing. It was one of those moments that take your breath away. She wasn't acting like our sassy little toddler this morning. For those moments that I was rocking her to sleep, she reminded me of how it was when she was a newborn. Her face was void of her normal funny expressions, she wasn't jabbering on as she's prone to do (she likes to tell stories), and she wasn't shaking her head "no" as I offered her her sippy. Instead, her eyes were filled with that wonder of a tiny babe; awestruck by the look of mommy's face. Her mouth was in the shape of an "O", with the corners slightly upturned forming a faint smile. She was gazing at me, in absolute silence; eyes locked on mine. She would break the gaze for a moment, just so she could turn into me and look away shyly. Then she'd come back, and start gazing at me again; and she couldn't stop smiling at me! It was so unbelievably adorable how she would go from a slight grin into a full fledged ear to ear smile, as if she couldn't contain her happiness. This went on for about fifteen minutes, eyelids getting increasingly more droopy; until she finally crashed with a big grin painted on her face. As I laid her down, I thanked Heavenly Father for such a beautiful child; and for loving us enough to allow her to come into our lives. It amazes me contstantly, how blessed we are. His love for us is apparent in moments like that...

What's my name?

So...this last Saturday afternoon, we ran a few errands. At one point, we stopped home to grab a package of diapers that we had to return. We walk through the front door, I was first in the door. Sean follows behind with Tara, whom he sets on the floor so she can walk in all by herself. She runs up to me and as she's coming towards me, she says "Melissa" CLEAR AS A BELL! Sean starts laughing, and I'm speechless. We couldn't believe she had just called me that :) Fast-forward a few minutes later, when we're ready to head back down to the car again. Sean picks Tara up, and she points to the photos we have hanging on the wall off the kitchen, of the baby and I when she was ten months old. She points to the photos and says again, "Melissa!". We couldn't stop laughing! She's a smart one...

Coast Trip Pictures...

So this last Saturday, we took a trip to Newport with my in-laws and had a blast. Sean's mom and brother had driven in Friday night from Idaho, and stayed until Monday morning. It wasn't long enough, but we had a great time with them. I wanted to get some of my favorite photos from the trip on here for you all to enjoy, so here they are!





After stopping at Nye beach, we stopped at a couple more spots along the coastline, and all in all just had a great time. On the way back to Eugene, we discovered that there is yet another food that Tara loved, that surprised us all. The boys (Sean and his brother Jake) had bought a bag of Lay's Jalapeno Potato Chips, and Tara ate most of them! This girl has never let anything spicy intimidate her :) Daddy's little girl in more ways than one! We had a great time though, and it was so nice to see Jake and Becky again. Wonderful weekend!

Simple Thoughts...

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I blogged. Don't get me wrong-the desire is often there. The energy is not...So that's how it's been about 9 months since I last blogged :) Tara's turned a year old in July, and it's still sinking in for Sean and I that we have a one year old. She's a toddler now, in every single way. She'll always be my baby, but she's growing up so fast right before our eyes. She's free-spirited, incredibly intelligent, funny as ever, and the most loving little girl! She's always going around giving kisses...to mommy, daddy, her baby dolls, the babies in her books, her favorite blankies. And it's baby kisses, so it's the drooly open-mouthed kisses with this sweet little noise she makes that resembles someone saying "aww...". So when her daddy and I are in the other room and hear that noise, we know she's probably found a toy she wants to play with. It's incredibly endearing...

She also makes the cutest little face now, it started about a week ago. She furrows her brows (as if she's concentrating) and her sweet little mouth forms a little o as she makes this sound that resembles a puppy whining. You know the one that breaks your heart? That's what she's been doing, and of course it always makes mommy laugh. I have no idea how it started, what she means by it, but when I start laughing after she does it; she breaks out in a little smile. So I figure she can't feel TOO misunderstood...I've determined she's simply testing out noises and expressions, and reactions to those noises and expressions. Either way, it's quite entertaining.

She has over twenty words in her vocabulary now, and most of it is just so fun to hear. She loves to go around and say "Uh oh..." with her palms upturned. So precious! She also loves to say "All done" when she's finished in her high chair, or when she wants out of her crib. This girl cracks me up. She also recently started mimicking when we tell her no no to something. She'll wave her little pointer finger back and forth, and walk around saying "No,no,no,no,no..." The funniest part is it's usually an indication of what sort of trouble she's about to seek out. Most of the time, it's on her way into the kitchen while heading towards the cabinet that holds our mason jars. She knows it's a no no, and heads there anyway. Cracks us up every time...

I love my little Tara. She's just the sweetest little angel, and such a light in our lives. Every day is so precious with her, just spending time with this special little girl; and feeling her love. She's so inquisitive, and loves to explore. I love watching her experience new things, and I love realizing how smart she is when she's mastered old things just like a big girl. She gets so proud of herself, and it just makes me want to cry! She's our sassy, sweet little girl; and we couldn't be prouder of her.

Baby's First Christmas...

So we had our first christmas with Tara, and it was wonderful. She's still too young to know about Santa, or how to open gifts, or to even eat a piece of Grandma's fudge. But she did know how to make us all smile~she really took to certain presents, like a doll she fell in love with. She also couldn't stop playing with these soft blocks that grandma Becky gave her! The girls were definitely spoiled this year...Tara's cousin Rylee, and Tara made out well :) Tara got lot's of books, toys (including bath toys), another blanket from Grandma Becky, a snow jacket with a matching one for cousin Rylee, a snuggle bear, a blanket from Uncle Jake, and the list goes on. Sean's parents got us a new laptop, so Sean can continue his writing; his old laptop's been busted for almost a year now; and we never had the money to get it fixed. They also got us clothes, movies, games, perfume/cologne, earrings for me, shave kit for Sean, I got a new scarf which just happens to match a jacket we have for Tara :) Sean's brother Jake got us a jump drive for the computer, which is pretty cool. The sad thing with the new laptop is we still don't have enough money to have monthly internet. Maybe when Sean hits the big time with his writing, right? So it was a pretty neat christmas, and it was so nice to be able to spend it with family here in Idaho. Although, I must admit; I missed my mom like crazy, but I knew we'd be returning soon. All in all, though, we had a wonderful time here; and some pretty special experiences. And I had a white christmas!!! We hardly get that in Eugene, that's another reason I love christmas here in Burley :)

This last week, Becky wanted to have the girls open an early christmas present. It was matching jackets that are hot pink, with a white faux fur lining. She put them in the jackets along with white longsleeve shirts, and jeans for christmas portraits together. They were adorable, let me tell you...SO cute together :)

Then on saturday afternoon, Sean and I escaped for about an hour to go have a short date with each other. We shared a hot chocolate, and Sean took me to a local book store. It's called the book plaza, and it's inside a building that looks like a mini castle; it was pretty cool. Once inside, Sean and I found a ton of LDS books that we just fell in love with. We left wishing we had a ton of money, just so we could add a bunch of good literature to our collection. Someday...

Well, we're flying back to Oregon tomorrow; and I've still got a couple things to do before I go to bed. I hope everyone had an amazing christmas, and that you were able to spend some special time with family. I hope everyone had good treats to eat, sang a bunch of christmas songs, and felt the spirit of the holiday season. We missed everyone in Eugene, and can't wait to see you guys!



She was incredibly amused at how we kept taking pictures of her :)



And she's out again :)



Ooh...pretty paper!

Whadup broseph?


She didn't stop playing with those blocks throughout the rest of the opening of the presents...

She loved the soft block set from Grandma Becky :)

Dad was a little sleepy too


She was barely hanging on...and by the time this picture was taken-so was I! Can ya blame me? I had a five and a half month old who kept waking up during the night :)


So very tired...






Seriously. There are no words available from the english language that come even close to describing how ADORABLE this picture is!!! I love how tiny she looks :)

Aww!!!

Yup-that's our baby underneath that big 'ol hat! It swallows her up :)

Tara with her Uncle Jake :)

Baby was a bit tired, since we got her up earlier than normal (since it was christmas morning). She never really recovered that day...

New jacket from Grandma Becky and Grandpa Bill

Trying to fit inside the stocking...


Sweet baby girl...





Our early christmas present...We unwrapped her in July :)

I love the look on Tara's face~"I wanna drink out of a big girl cup too!"


Tara, with Grandma Becky


Tara's cousin Rylee was a wee bit jealous that this new baby was sitting in her high chair-she's never had to share it before!